There's this guy standing at a bus stop. He notices that the guy in front of him has a huge orange head. He can't help but ask ...

"What happened to your head?"
"Well, I was walking along the street the other day when I found this magic lamp, so I gave it a rub, out pops a genie, grants me three wishes. First off, I wish for a giant pile of cash. Puff of smoke, there it is. Second wish, I wish for a beautiful wife. Another puff of smoke, and there she is."

"Cool. So what did you wish for with your third wish?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
"I wished for a huge orange head!"

An elderly couple go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?"
The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises
both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for
sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finish, the doctor says,
"There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse."
He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them
and he says goodbye.

The next week, however, the couple return and ask the sex therapist to watch
again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees. This happens several
weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, have intercourse with no
problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 5 or 6 weeks of this routine, the doctor says, "I'm sorry,but
I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?" The old man says,"
We're not trying to find out anything. She's married and we can't go to her
house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges
The Hilton charges. With your help, we do it for £100 and I get it back from
BUPA!"

I wonder if you can tell this one was forwarded in an e-mail >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

> >Being a bloke is great because....
> > >
> > >
> > >Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.
> > >Your last name stays put.
> > >The garage is all yours
> > >Wedding plans take care of themselves.
> > >You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
> > >Car mechanics tell you the truth.
> > >You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
> > >Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
> > >Wrinkles add character.
> > >A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, not leave you
> > >tarnished.
> > >You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
> > >People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
> > >The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
> > >Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything
> > >different?"
> > >You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
> > >One mood, ALL the damn time.
> > >You can open all your own jars.
> > >Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
> > >You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
> > >You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
> > >You can kill your own food.
> > >You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
> > >If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
> your
> > >friend.
> > >If you are 30 and single, nobody notices
> > >Everything on your face stays its original colour.
> > >You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
> > >Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
> > >You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader is coming.
> > >You can sit in silence watching a football game with your mate for
> hours
> > >without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
> > >You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
> > >If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might
>
> > >become lifelong friends.
> > >The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
> > >You don't have to shave below your neck.
> > >One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.
> > >You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife.
> > >You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
> > >Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
> 24th,
> > >in 45 minutes.
>