Read this at b3ta.com and found it funny.

Never complain to soap writers
"I love the UK police soap The Bill: but when
they introduced a new WPC, Honey Harmon, I was
so disgusted with her lack of acting ability
that I emailed the producers to ask who she
had shagged to get the role. No response.
Then about a couple of months later there
was a panning shot across the office taking
in the white boards in the background: There
was my name in big black letters with a ring
around it in for a child sexual assault case!
The bastards!" (Catchag)

Message from www.dating.com

Your Advert has been running for 3 weeks on www.dating.com and has received
no responses as yet. would you like us to remove your photograph for 1
week?

Sorry it's been so long since last post - couldn't be arsed! Only joking, my humour sources on the interweb appeared to have dried up. I suppose I will have to actively find some through my own means!

Here is one for starters...... In response to Ellen MacArthur's recent circumnavigation in a boat sponsores and named B&Q (DIY homestore), this is a copy of an e-mail received by B&Q customer services:

Dear Sir/Madam

My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK on 28th November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive back 72 days later.

Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96 days ago will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?



Yours Sincerely

John Roberts