A Senior Moment

An elderly couple were having dinner at another couple's house and
after their meal, the wives left the table to go to the kitchen.

The two elderly gents were talking, and one says: "Last night we went
out to a fabulous new restaurant .I'd highly recommend."

The other man says: "What's the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thinks long and hard with a furrowed brow, finally
saying: "Ah, what is the name of that red flower you give to someone
you love?"

His friend replies: "A carnation?" "No, no. The other one," the man says.

His friend suggest "The poppy?"

"No, no, no" growls the man.

"You know - the one that is red and has thorns."

His friend says: "Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes! Thank you!" the first man says. He then turns toward the kitchen
and yells: "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last
night?"

Interesting if its true

A Charlotte, North Carolina lawyer purchased a box of very rare and
expensive cigars, then insured them against fire, among other things.

Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great
cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on
the policy the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In
his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued.. and WON! (Stay with me.) Delivering the ruling, the
judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.

The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer "held a policy from the
company which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also
guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining
what is considered to be unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay
the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his
loss of the cigars lost in the "fires".

NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim and
testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer
was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was
sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent
Criminal Lawyers Award

Catholic Heart Attack

A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital. As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked, "Do you have health insurance?" He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance." The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?" He replied, "No money in the bank". The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God." The patient replied: "Send the bill to my brother-in-law."